Special Edition | Seth Pozzi -  Head of School

FORCED APOLOGY = MISSED
LEARNING OPPORTUNITY

What to try instead

As parents, I think we can agree that it isn’t easy at times to navigate an incident involving our child hitting, pushing, or otherwise acting impulsively toward another child (or adult), purposely or accidentally. A common response when we witness something like this is to immediately ask our child to "Say you're sorry." 

We may feel embarrassed and quickly react 
asking our child to say, “I’m sorry.”

In our roles as Preschool Directors, we have heard this play out many times. But, there are some issues with this approach:

1. Young children are still learning to control impulses and may not know why they did what they did. Children also take longer than adults to digest an experience and process it.
2. The pressure to apologize right then and there takes away their chance to learn from the situation. 
3. What they do learn might be the wrong message. Forcing a child to say “I’m sorry,” can send the message that apologizing fixes everything and is a quick way to automatically right every wrong.  
4. A true apology requires empathy, which develops gradually throughout the early years. Young children may not be developmentally ready to understand, much less own the words they are saying.

So what should you do if your child hurts another child?

• Prevention - If you know your child is more apt to hit or act out when tired, frustrated, or overstimulated, try your best to remain close by so you can intervene before an incident occurs. Use a firm but even tone: “I won’t let you hit,” creating a physical boundary between the children with our hands. In a recent parent/teacher workshop, the presenter referred to these as "ninja hands."
• Model Appropriate Response - If we are too late and a child is hurt (for example), you can apologize to the injured child and their parent/caregiver. Something as simple as, “Ouch, I’m sorry that Sammy pushed you. Let's help you up and see if you need an ice pack or a bandaid. Is there anything we can do to make you feel better? We are so sorry.” By taking such action, you are modeling to your child an appropriate reaction to take when accidentally or purposely hurting someone. This allows the child to also help care for the injured child, continue to develop empathy, and repair the situation. NOTE: This is similar to the "apology of action" approach we use in elementary school.

There is a reciprocal connection between learning an empathetic response and learning about forgiveness. When we model an appropriate social response, our child is also learning about forgiveness. This is one important way we help our children develop into empathetic human beings.

Hi Barnyard friends!

March has been a crazy month for the animals in our Science & Nature Center. They were just getting used to the idea of not having a proper winter when we suddenly got some intense rain and even hail! The hail started coming down while we were out for a walk with Quito. We think he rather enjoyed it. 

ELEMENTARY
In Evolution, we learned about artificial selection. As part of our evolution simulation, each student had an opportunity to select their creature's color and patterns on their bodies. Our 2nd and 5th graders have great imaginations, and we can’t wait for you to see how their creatures turn out at the end of the unit. In Ecology, we discussed the many different ways animals move around in the world. Walking, running, and flying might come to mind right away, but there is also hopping, gliding, climbing, swimming, and slithering. We tested them all out and, to no one’s surprise, humans are best at walking and running. 

PRESCHOOL
This month, we played the chicken scratch game, simulating how chickens walk, and one of the children's favorites. We also investigated the different kinds of food our animals eat, seeing and touching the different items, including pellets. Pellets are like cereal for animals, except they're super healthy (I can't say that about all cereals). We also created an obstacle course for the children, modeled on: “A day in the life of Mr. Matthew". Our friends had to pick up “poop” (cotton balls), give an animal medicine, catch an animal with a net, and teach a class by describing a shape on the white board. Our aspiring zoologists, veterinarians, and animal keepers all enjoyed this simulation. 

The end of March brings the beginning of spring. This is the animals' favorite time of year, and the time of babies and growth. We hope the sunshine can bring some happiness to everyone!

Mr. Matthew and Mrs. Tanja