The New Normal

Preparing our kids and ourselves for what comes next

As schools look ahead to welcoming back students, it won’t be business as usual. If the Safer-at-Home order is lifted on May 15, we are planning for a soft reopening of campuses on May 18. Our number one concern as we reopen is to continue to protect the health/safety of our students, parents and staff. We shared some highlights of our school reopening procedures last week, and a full set of guidelines will be sent to parents prior to reopening. 

This NPR segment sums up some of the key ways schools will look different for the foreseeable future. California public schools have begun discussing staggered schedules in the fall, with children attending school-perhaps-every other day. This is, in part, because current health/safety guidelines suggest significantly reducing group size down from 30-40 students in many public school classrooms down to 10-12.

We are fortunate that our group sizes are already smaller than public school, but even so, you can expect to see a number of changes to school protocols as we return to campus and that will likely extend into next school year. Some of these include:

• Visitor restrictions - Limitations for parents/visitors going into classrooms or on campus.
• Temperature and symptom screenings - Upon arrival.
• Staff and students wear masks on campus - Mandatory for adults.  For younger children, this may be at parent’s discretion and based on the child's ability to wear a mask.
• Current guidelines suggest group sizes no greater than 10-12 - While this may increase, it may also mean limiting enrollment per class or creating additional homeroom spaces (elementary) depending on guidelines at the time.
• Children may use dividers during meals - To maintain greater health and safety when eating.
• Staggered indoor and outdoor groups - To preserve static class groupings.
• Scheduled hand washing

Preparing Kids for This Reality

• Masks - I strongly urge parents to ease kids into this new normal (for now). Whether you plan to return in May (if the order is lifted) or at a later time, don’t wait to have your child start wearing a mask until they are about to come back to school! Try to make it fun. See if you can find a character or pattern your child loves, and practice wearing it when you go for walks, in the car, etc. 
• Hand Washing - Teach, practice and reinforce proper hand washing at home. It will be much easier for teachers to conduct routine hand washing if children are already used to the routine. 

Normalize and Empower

• Kids are hearing scary things, but it’s better to talk about it with them (in a developmentally appropriate way) than to shield them from it. 
• Focus more on what they can do to stay safe and keep a neutral tone. "This is why we are going to wear our masks and do such a good job washing our hands right now, so we can keep our friends and family safe."
• Check your own emotions:
  • Practice/model self-care.
  • Remind them and yourself that this is temporary.
  • Stay calm and use “emotional self-control” when talking about this topic. The emotions you express will influence your child’s feelings.

Distance Learning

A unique opportunity to influence our children's mindset

I think it’s safe to say that 2020 has not gone as any of us hoped or planned. We have all had to meet new challenges in our work, school, and personal lives, and it has not been easy. As we go into the month of May, a light at the middle of the tunnel, I want to remind parents of the importance of showing our kids that they can persevere, even during hard times. Even now during the quarantine (hard times), we have a unique opportunity to help children feel empowered and develop coping skills they will still need in good times.  

When we see our child feeling overwhelmed or frustrated, it's in our nature to want to relieve their suffering by taking away the source of the stress. We want to save our kids from distress, but the underlying message we might be sending is: “You couldn’t handle it, so I stepped in to fix it.”

This applies to Distance Learning. When your child is frustrated, unsure, or wishes they had done better on an assignment, how we respond at those times will have an enduring impact. One of the best things we can do for kids during challenging times is to serve as a sounding board. Mirror back how they’re feeling and then help them decide what options they have.

“You sound really frustrated with that assignment. 

Do you want to keep working at it now or move on to something else…and take it to tomorrow's Zoom session with your teacher?”

There’s not necessarily a right or wrong answer as to when your child needs a push or needs a break. I would much rather see parents take time to help their child think through their options and make a plan, than to try to re-teach academic content. My point is not so much about hyper-focusing on academics, but rather I want us to be thoughtful how we respond when our kids run into a tricky spot.   

Self-Care
We won’t be able to reassure and empower our children if we, ourselves, are not feeling it. Sometimes we have to psych ourselves up before we talk to our child. Check your own feelings. If you are anxious or upset, this is not the time to work with our child. Take a break and engage in self-care. We can’t tell a child not to be so anxious if we are personally modeling that emotion. We also need to remind kids that, while we wish things were different and we know it’s hard being at home and missing our friends, at the end of the day, we still have to choose our mood. 

Choose Your Mood
Choosing our mood is something we teach kids as young as TK in our elementary program. One of my favorite books that we use to start conversations about this aspect of mindset is The Pout Pout Fish (take a look). In Upper Elementary, we also tie these ideas about mindset into literature as the students analyze characters and themes, even now in their live Zoom Book Club meetings.  

Advice from Behavioral Science
We are all cycling through a wide range of emotions. 2020 will come and go, but the mindset we instill in our kids will be with them for many years to come. I implore parents to (1) start with your own self-care and (2) keep working with your child on a positive growth mindset. I leave you with some advice from Dr. Kendra Read talking to a wonderful organization, Bright & Quirky Kids, about trying not to accommodate anxiety or frustration by removing the stress. See what she has to say.

Preparing Your Preschooler

For the new normal

We are beginning to prepare for staff and students to gradually return to school. Safety is our first priority, and we are starting to implement our reopening procedures on campus and with our staff. Before we reopen campuses, parents will receive detailed guidelines and procedures.  

• This notice was sent to parents last week with an overview of reopening procedures.
• Please let us know when you anticipate returning to school.

This is the time to begin preparing kids for what school will look like when they return. Here are some things we hope parents will do NOW that will help ease the transition back to school.   

Below are some topics to discuss and practice at home NOW so it doesn't feel so foreign when your child comes back to school.

As children begin returning to school (whatever the date), we will be investing a lot of time into building new rhythms, rituals and routines. The same goes for parents. As you have seen, there will be some changes to the drop off/pick up, routine screenings as you come on campus, and guidelines about distancing and face coverings. We know this is yet another transition for our children, and our staff will be prioritizing health/safety and the emotional well-being of the children. We ask for your patience and continued support as we work through this together. And, more than anything, we look forward to seeing you and your children!