WHPS Blog

The Swiss Army Knife for Kids

Written by Seth Pozzi, Head of School on .


Want to help your child with: Tantrums? Peer/sibling conflict? Anxiety? Disappointment? Big emotions?


The good news - There is one simple tool that can help! (HINT: Not a real knife)


The bad news - We often forget to use it!


I challenge us to put this tool back in our tool belt and keep it ready at a moment’s notice. If we aren’t using it multiple times/day, we are missing a huge opportunity.   
 
Young children deal with the same emotions adults do: anger, sadness, frustration, anxiety, happiness, embarrassment, etc. But, they often do not have or use the right words to identify and talk about how they are feeling. Instead, they may act out, sometimes in physical and maladaptive ways.  

Here's the Swiss Army Knife that can improve many parenting (or teachering) situations:

Name your child’s emotions
  • “Mommy left on a trip, you are sad.” 
  • Providing a label for the feeling enables the child to develop vocabulary for talking about feelings. Don’t be afraid to get it wrong. You are not a mind reader. If your child disagrees with your label, that also opens up valuable discussion.

Talk about how people might be feeling (frequently)

  • “Aerin bumped her head on the slide. How do you think she feels?”
  • Talk about different ways they can respond to specific feelings, conflicts, or problems. 
Talk about your own feelings
  • “Remember yesterday when the water in the bathtub would not go down? Mommy got so mad and do you remember what my face looked like when I got mad? Can you make a mad face like that?” 
Talk about different ways you deal with specific feelings
  • “When I get mad I take a deep breath, count to three, and then try to think of the best way to deal with my problem.” 
Teach your child to express their emotions in ways that your family finds acceptable
  • You might tell your child: “Sometimes dad is angry when something goes wrong at work. What does he do? He sits at his desk until he figures out what he wants to say about it. Where might you want to sit and think when you get angry?”

What should schools do for Black History [and Herstory] Month?

Written by Seth Pozzi, Head of School on .

 

Like so many things in life, there is no easy, quick, or painless way to teach about Black history. For many of us, Black history was not properly addressed throughout our own education. As I said in our back to school newsletter, one of the ways we can do this is to take ourselves back to school and try to understand our history from different perspectives. We believe Black history and the history of other historically marginalized people shouldn’t be relegated to just one month or oversimplified into any one special event. Even so, February is a great time to recommit ourselves to learning and growing with our kids, helping them to be even better human beings than ourselves. Throughout this month we will be sharing a variety of tips and resources that can help parents and teachers jumpstart these conversations.

A few topics to watch for:

Do you have a personal story, suggested book or activity that could help children understand a certain event or experience from different perspective? If so, tell us about it

Mental Health for the Whole Family During the COVID-19 Pandemic

Written by Dr. Sharon Arbel, Ph.D. on .

Mental Health for the Whole Family During the COVID-19 Pandemic
March 4, 7-8:30 PM

RSVP & Submit Questions

Dr. Sharon Arbel is a Clinical Psychologist with over 20 years of experience helping children and families.  She owns and operates a private practice in Tarzana (which is currently online) where she sees her own clients and also supervises and trains interns in their clinical work.  She is a former university instructor for graduate level psychology students and is the mother of three children.  Dr. Arbel will be giving a virtual workshop to the WHPS community on March 4th about "Mental Health for the Whole Family During the COVID-19 Pandemic."  She will also be contributing monthly to our newsletter via a Q/A section for the remainder of this school year. 

This Month's Q & A With Dr. Arbel

Q. My child is constantly telling me that he is bored. With extracurricular activities cancelled and far less social interactions, how can I help him feel less bored?

A. First off, boredom is nothing to be worried about.  Boredom is actually a pretty wonderful experience, which children in today's day and age do not have enough of. Boredom leads us to feel more comfortable with ourselves and find creative ways to entertain ourselves as well as give ourselves permission to simply rest.  When your child complains of boredom, rather than presenting him with various options of entertainment or jumping in to entertain him yourself, you can simply reply with, "that's great, I want you to feel bored at times because that it healthy for your development."

Secondly, I will say that I am seeing a great deal of kids recently who are not interested in some of the things that were previously very enjoyable to them.  This is a mood-related symptom and thus "bored" can often be a synonym to "sad/empty."  Be sure that you are attuned to how your child is using the word.  If you have a hunch that it comes from a place of feeling sad or empty, your leaning in and helping him to cultivate that language and self expression to tell you what is really going on will be very important.  Our presence as parents is truly key during this very challenging time in our lives.

Q. My children fight often. They have been spending so much time together during the pandemic that they can't stop bickering.

A. This pandemic certainly has blurred boundaries between siblings.  In some families, the sibling relationship has been a saving grace during this time of social isolation, while in other families, it has been a significant stressor due to the constant bickering.  Everyone needs boundaries and time alone.  See if you can prescribe time alone for your children every day.  It would help if they also had a safe space where they could go and unwind or read or just be alone. Furthermore, see if you can integrate quality time with a parent (1:1) every week. Finally, pay attention to the ways in which you deal with the bickering.  Do you jump in to meditate or reprimand? Sibling rivalry is very commonly about parental attention so the more that you can stay out of the picture, the better for everyone. 

Q. My children have so much screen time these days. What is the time limit that I should be implementing?

A. This is a question I get asked daily by parents in my practice, and it's a very legitimate one.  Between learning, socializing, playing, and exercising online, kids are getting screen time well beyond the recommended amounts.  The key here is to pay attention to the quality and purpose of the screen time.  In other words, what goal is it serving and how important is that goal?

Outside of the school day (whether online or in person), children need to be getting exercise and outside play, as well as socialization.  They need to practice social skills, be a contributing member of their household, interact with peers their age, and interact with their parents.  They need a proper sleep and meal routine.  If after all of these things there is time left over for playing video games, then there is no harm from time to time. Just pay attention to the order of priority of the important daily tasks that come before playing video games and watching tv.  If you are clear with your child about their responsibilities, screen time becomes less of a battle.

Processing the January 6 Events in our Capitol

Written by Seth Pozzi, Head of School on .

Many of us woke up this morning still processing the insurrection that took place in our nation’s capitol yesterday. It’s difficult to make sense of the confusing, frightening scenes or imagine explaining the situation to our children. What is important to remember and to impress upon our kids is that the brave people who are helping will eventually bring order and peace. We can also assure children that the majority of Americans are joining together to support justice and democracy and that the dangerous and unlawful people we saw in the nation’s capitol yesterday will not be successful in hurting our country.

There is a lot to unpack in understanding how something like this could happen. Talking about this with children can feel like opening Pandora’s box. But, not talking about it is a missed opportunity to talk about racism, white supremacy, oppression and disenfranchisement, which has led to this reckoning. As we all contend with our own feelings, we will be uncomfortable, and it’s okay to sit in our discomfort over what this nation has allowed to happen. Talking about this with children, in a reassuring and developmentally appropriate way, can be yet another means to help our children become even better human beings than we are.  

Advice we shared with teachers:

  • Preschool and kindergarten students may not have heard much about the situation and would benefit most from consistent routines and the understanding that their family members may be more stressed right now, leading to potentially some different or challenging behavior. If children do bring up the events, correct any misinformation and reassure them that this happened far away and that they are safe. 

  • 1st grade and up (but for sure 2nd and up) kids may have more knowledge about what happened. We encouraged teachers to ask at Morning Meeting, "What have you heard about the events that happened yesterday?" Don't go far beyond what they already know, and model a calm and reassuring tone. 

Advice for parents and teachers:

  • Young children, up to age 6, need brief, simple information that should be balanced with reassurance that their school and homes are safe and that adults are there to protect them. If they’re afraid about their safety at school, give simple examples of school safety like reminding them about doors/gates being locked, teachers always with them on the playground, and emergency drills practiced during the school day. 

  • Older children may probe with deeper questions about whether they truly are safe and what is being done to keep them safe. They may need assistance separating reality from fantasy. Talk about how school and community leaders make schools and communities safe. 

To help extend the conversation, here are a few resources that you may find useful. 

Resources:

Adapted from resources shared by:

The Child Mind Institute

The National Education Association

Columbia University Teachers College & Lucy Calkins

Elementary Division FAQs - 2020-2021

Written by Seth Pozzi, Head of School on .

We have summarized some of the common parent questions about what to expect this year in "COVID times." While of course we are subject to any new orders from government and health officials, here are some FAQs based on what we know at this time. We hope it will answer many of your questions.

Q. Is school open for in person instruction?

  • TK-5th grade is open in person for regular school, 5 full days/week.
  • Some families in TK-5th grade have chosen to remain on distance learning with a dedicated distance learning specialist teacher. 

Q. How are we keeping students, families and staff safe at school?

This is not an exhaustive list, but here are some key safety guidelines:

    • Face Coverings - REQUIRED FOR EVERYONE ON CAMPUS 
    • Class Family Groups - A static group of no more than 16 students with one teacher. The children in each group will learn, eat, play and have specialist classes together but may not physically mingle with others on campus. 
    • Outdoor Learning Spaces - COVID-19 is much less likely to spread outdoors. We have added additional sheltered outdoor learning spaces with clear partitions between students and new portable classrooms that are heated/cooled and can be open-air on nice days. 
    • Visitor Restrictions - Health officials currently recommend that parents use rolling drop off and do not get out of their vehicles at school. 
    • Physical Distancing - Enforced through Interactive Modeling and gentle reminders.
    • Scheduled Hand Washing (and of course as needed)
    • Temperature & Symptom Screening - Anyone coming on campus will be screened for a fever or symptoms. 
    • Sick Policy - Anyone coming on campus must be symptom free (fever, diarrhea, cough, sore throat, shortness of breath, runny nose) for 24 hours without medication. Out of an abundance of caution, staff/students will need to go home immediately and get a test to rule our COVID-19 if symptoms occur at school. 
    • COVID-19 Testing - All families and students must get tested before returning to school and to follow all public health guidelines. Elementary students and staff must get tested weekly (using our free on-site saliva swab test or an outside testing program of their choice).
    • "The COVID Times" - We share a weekly community update every Friday with updates to the guidelines and restrictions. All families and staff must follow these in order to attend school in person. 

Q. Are all the special area classes (Spanish, Music, Art, PE, Science/Social Studies, Animal & Nature Studies, Tech-Lab) still happening? 

Yes. Specialist classes are happening, but students may not go to the Art Studio, Computer Lab, etc. This is to avoid having multiple Class Family Groups cycle through a shared learning space. Most specialist classes are being taught outdoors. We have also expanded 1:1 devices for every student in grades 1-5 so each student has a dedicated device (laptop, Chromebook, iPad, depending on grade). Some special area classes may be taught through Zoom - into the classrooms.

Q. What about after school classes like Mandarin, Team Sports, Robotics, Art, Drama, Cooking, Speech & Debate, etc.?

These classes are temporarily on hold. Because the current guidelines and best practices suggest keeping students in static groups and not mixing, after school classes are temporarily suspended until we are able to mix or combine groups. We plan to bring these classes back as soon as it's safe. 

Q. I saw that when WHPS reopened in June, campus is now open 8am-5pm. Will you go back to 7am-6pm in the fall?

We know families rely on us for childcare, and we will do everything we can to get back to 7-6 as soon as possible. The reduced hours are primarily because of the strict cohorting requirements (we can't mix students from different Class Family Groups). We will resume normal hours when the cohorting requirement is lifted.     

Q. If we ever need to switch to distance learning in the future, what is the schedule?

If there is ever a class closure/quarantine due to COVID-19 exposure, the daily schedule  includes LIVE daily instruction throughout the morning in SEL, Math, Reading & Writing. In the afternoon, specialist classes are also taught live: Spanish, Music, PE, Technology, Art, Animal & Nature Studies.

Here is an example of the elementary distance learning schedule (all BLUE classes are taught live).

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