Stanford Dean warns that many parents are overemphasizing grades and scores, perhaps to our children's detriment. Instead of helping children build self-efficacy or thinking about what they might be interested in studying, we create too much anxiety over B's, or G-d forbid some C's. Are grades important? Yes, to a degree.
"What I'm saying is, when we treat grades and scores and accolades and awards as the purpose of childhood, all in furtherance of some hoped-for admission to a tiny number of colleges or entrance to a small number of careers, that's too narrow a definition of success for our kids. And even though we might help them achieve some short-term wins by overhelping-like they get a better grade if we help them do their homework, they might end up with a longer childhood résumé when we help-what I'm saying is that all of this comes at a long-term cost to their sense of self. What I'm saying is, we should be less concerned with the specific set of colleges they might be able to apply to or might get into and far more concerned that they have the habits, the mindset, the skill set, the wellness, to be successful wherever they go. What I'm saying is, our kids need us to be a little less obsessed with grades and scores and a whole lot more interested in childhood providing a foundation for their success built on things like love and chores."
HARVARD GRANT STUDY: The longest longitudinal study of humans ever conducted
It found that professional success in life, which is what we want for our kids, comes from having done chores as a kid, and the earlier you started, the better, that a roll-up-your-sleeves- and-pitch-in mindset, a mindset that says, there's some unpleasant work, someone's got to do it, it might as well be me, a mindset that says, I will contribute my effort to the betterment of the whole, that that's what gets you ahead in the workplace. Learn more about the Harvard Grant Study in Julie Lythcott-Haims TED Talk.